In Pursuit of Joy

Sometimes joy looks like a lemon meringue pie.

I remember watching as my baby’s eyes followed with rapt fascination the movement of two exotic creatures, waving in his line of sight and ending in his tiny starfish fingers. He didn’t know they were his, or that he was moving them. He was simply delighted to see them, smiling with joy and sharing it with me. “Isn’t this wonderful?” his expression seemed to say.

Babies and young children retain for a while their connection to the Light from which they came and to which they will return. I remember it so well, and I ask myself when I last had a moment like that.

Once when my son was less than two, we were stopped at a light on our way home from the sitter’s house. He leaned forward and looked up toward the sky. He had such an air of intensity that I asked him quietly, “What do you see, sweetheart?” and he replied, “God”. The light changed and I drove on, but I’m bright enough to recognize a teaching moment, and I was willing to learn. Looking back, I can see that he taught me as much as I taught him.

Moments like these are why, when I am feeling joyful, I absolutely revel in the feeling and try to make it last as long as I can. My goal is to find a way to live my life with as much joy as I am able, especially on a day like today, when life is tossing me challenges. In fact, I’m going to take my lemons and make, not lemonade, but lemon meringue pie! Or failing that a big pot of my famous meat sauce and angel hair pasta. I feel better already!

Moments

Crescent Moon

The surface of the

Water dances ~

As the wind

Passes by ~

The sky is a

Brilliant blue ~

With tiny wisps

Of cloud ~

Palm trees rustle

In the slight

Cool breeze ~

A bright white

Contrail ~

More than the jet

That precedes it ~

Draws my eye

Upward ~

And in its wake

To my surprise ~

The merest hint

Of an infant

Crescent moon

Appears ~

How lovely ~

I sit in my chair

And gaze up to

The heavens ~

So still I feel, as

I contemplate

My part in this

Cosmic journey

Undertaken by

Us all ~

Filled with a peace

I have never

Felt before ~

At one with

The Universe ~

As I have never

Been before ~

But the moment

Passes and I am

Myself once more ~

Waiting for the

Next moment

Out of time ~

Patterns

Me on my way out of town. Photo by Anastasia Koros

Tonight as I gazed into

My mirrored eyes

I saw in my reflection

The shape of my skull

Beneath the flesh, and

I saw the pattern

Of my life, and

Perceived the rhythm

Underlying the flow

Of my days.

Perhaps I have gained

A newer perspective

As the years have passed by

Or perhaps I have simply

Learned to recognize

The threads of the patterns,

But whichever way the truth lies

I will follow to the very end.

Deep in the night

The church bell tolls and

Someday it will toll for me

Serenity

Perfection

One’s youth is a happier

Time by far

When viewed across the

Safely intervening years

And though my hands

Could build a bridge

To take me back to fev’rish

Passions and swift tears

There is a wisdom which

Comes with age

Gleaned from battles fought

And battles won

That whispers for the heart

Alone to hear

Perfection cannot be

Improved upon

For Christy

In Memory of Christy, who has crossed the Rainbow Bridge

There’s one more silky head
You’ve petted gone for good
One more meow that now
Will never sound again
Your heart is aching
And your tears flow freely
But I promise that your
Heart will heal again
So let not your sorrow
Cancel out the joy you shared
And know that all the gifts
Of love you gave her
In the end will be repaid

The Awakening

Journey to the Stars.

There’s a whisper in the wind tonight

A hint of something strange brewing.

The thrumming in my blood

Tells me that things will never be the same.

I feel as if a door is opening inside me,

And it cannot be closed up again.

Could this finally be the moment

That I’ve always known would come,

When the barriers between our

Worlds come tumbling down?

I can see you now, through the veils

Of time and of immeasurable distance.

My heart cries out to yours and yours to mine.

Our love will shatter stars and galaxies,

And shake the very cosmos to its core,

And you and I will be as one forevermore.

Cool Magic

Chasing Fireflies

I took a walk by myself last night,

Down by the firefly wood,

And it made me believe in magic again.

It transfixed me where I stood.

And if you’d restore your faith, my friend,

In wonders and marvels and good,

Then take a walk with me tonight,

Down to the firefly wood.

I’ve never seen anything like it,

I don’t think that anyone could,

Believe without seeing the beauty I’ve seen,

Down by the firefly wood.

Fifty Thousand Thoughts a Day

Angel in the blue distance.

A luscious bloom of warmth

Envelopes my whole being.

The heated rush of feeling

Leaves me breathless and amazed…

And in the far blue distance

Are those truly angels I hear singing?

What is this place and tell me

How it is I’ve strayed

Into this strange new landscape

That inhabits me. That leaves me

Weak yet oddly unafraid.

Then suddenly there comes a hush,

As if the whole wide world

Has ceased to breathe.

And just as suddenly it begins again,

Leaving me to ponder, and to

Wonder which of the puzzle pieces

I have just received.

Discharging A Debt Of Gratitude

One of my favorite positive people is author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia. Leo left this world in June of 1998, but not before he gave me a gift both delightful and practical. Before I spent some time between the pages of his books, listened to his tapes and watched him on PBS, I used to be very hard on myself, very critical of my own behavior, especially when it didn’t become the sort of person I was aspiring to be. My disappointment took the form of sotto voce comments to myself, things like, “How could you be so stupid?” “How could you do something so self-defeating and dumb?” My own personal favorite was, “What were you thinking?”

Then came the day when I heard Leo say that, when you’ve done something like this, say to yourself, “You sweet old thing, you’ve done it again!” I smiled when I heard those words for the first time, and I’ve smiled every other time since, when I’ve used them on myself. My unwise act is not changed, but the way I look at it is. This homely phrase helps me to put things in perspective, and to forgive myself, once again, for being human and thus not infallible.

Anyone who ever heard Leo Buscaglia will probably know what I mean when I say that he always seemed full of joy. He made it sound so easy to be like him, and he always seemed to speak and operate from an inner wellspring of strength and truth and joy. I’ve never been told I reminded anyone of Leo, but if I were it would make me very happy, because Leo was one of my heroes. He didn’t just have a plan for the big things, he showed us small ways to begin to make the changes we wanted in our lives. He didn’t mind poking fun at himself or his big, noisy Italian family, and I will always think of him as a kind friend and mentor, who I never actually met. I’m sorry we didn’t, but I know I would have liked him, and I think he would have liked the person he helped me become. Thank you, Leo Buscaglia, for making the world a better place for me and so many others.

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Things Desired

Image via Wikipedia, Old St. Paul’s Church, Baltimore, MD

For those of you who have not encountered the work of Max Ehrmann, (September 26, 1872 – September 9, 1945) he was a German-American poet and spiritual writer. His parents came to the United States from Bavaria in the 1840s and settled in Terre Haute, Indiana, where Max grew up.

With a degree in English from DePauw University, he went on to study at Harvard, majoring in philosophy and law. He returned to his home town in 1898, where he practiced law; served as a deputy state’s attorney; and worked in the family meatpacking business as well as in the overalls manufacturing industry. Not the background, one would think, to produce a poet. But when he turned 40, Max Ehrmann turned his back on the business world and became a writer.

His most famous accomplishment in this field is the world-famous prose poem called “Desiderata”. For years, this work was mistakenly thought to be the work of an anonymous author. It was used in a collection of devotional materials by the Reverend Frederick Kates, rector of St. Paul’s, and was published with the notation: “Old Saint Paul’s Church, Baltimore A.D. 1692.”

I don’t remember how I came to discover this lovely piece, I only know that as I read these words for the first time, each one found an echo in my heart. The title, in Latin, means things desired.

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.  As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.  Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, for they too have their story.  Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.  Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.  Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.  But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.  Be yourself.  Especially do not feign affection.  Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.  Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.  But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.  Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.  Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.  You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.  And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.  And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.  With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.  Be cheerful.  Strive to be happy.

–Max Ehrmann, 1927