My Story is Now Your Story

“I read your new story”, a friend says, and my stomach clenches, while I paste a smiling, interested look on my face. What will she say? The choices run the gamut, from “It was nice.” (the kiss of death), to “Well, I didn’t really understand all of it; you’re so clever.”,  all the way through “Have you checked out the ads on Craigslist lately?”

The phrases that sounded so clever when I  concocted them, may have landed on an understanding and receptive ear, or they may have sailed in one and right out the other. Worse she may say, “I read your new story”, and then segue to a different topic, leaving me hanging, wondering, pathetically insecure and totally unable to ask, “Did you like it?”

A much more likely occurrence is receiving a comment from a total stranger which makes me think, “Yes, that’s exactly what I meant!” When writer, story and reader connect, there’s that moment of pure bliss, where it’s like I’m doing what I’ve always been meant to do. I’ve received what I think of as “stranger compliments” of such delicacy and perception, that they fill me with pure exhilaration. Sometimes a reader’s words shine new light on my own.

More and more lately, my response to the casual “How are you?” would be: “I’ve got the (computer) keys to the kingdom; I’ve made a friend of and teamed with my dragon (I retain Creative Control; the dragon gets an Associate Producer credit); I’ve become quite comfortable out there on that limb; and I’m eager to carry on my quest!” The short answer of course would be, “I feel like I’m flying!”

Does any of this sound familiar? I think about writing as I’m going to sleep, and run story ideas in my head till I blink out for the night. I wake up and love my kitties and smile, as I think of the rendezvous that awaits me at the pressing of a few keys, specially if I have a draft I’ve been polishing that’s almost ready to go. Now and then, I power down the computer so I can get things done. Then I turn it on again, only to check one thing, and I’m gone, until the phone rings or my stomach growls or the cats get bored.

I’m so far past denial I don’t even try anymore. Resistance is Futile. Surrender seems the obvious choice. So I’m giving in to my Muse and I’ll see where it leads. Expect me when you see me.

Grace Upon Grace

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In accordance with my plan to live in the now, I’m always on the watch for unexpected little moments of beauty. You’d be surprised to know how many times my patience and vigilance have been rewarded. Today there was one such moment.

I needed to go to the store for kitty litter, no errand more prosaic. But when I glanced at the clock I realized I’d not had lunch and I know “they” say you shouldn’t go hungry. A little bite, along with some orange juice, should do the trick. I pulled a roast chicken out of the fridge and detached a wing. I popped that in the microwave, meanwhile quartering two cherry tomatoes. Just enough to take the edge off, but not enough to spoil a small, late lunch. The microwave dinged, I removed the saucer, turned to the counter behind me to set it down, added the tomatoes and Suddenly, the sun burst through the gray clouds and drenched my tiny meal in warm afternoon light. The reds of the plate and the tomatoes flamed, and the wing of the fowl glistened golden in its juices. I ate my snack standing at the kitchen counter, with the flooding sunshine enhancing and blessing my food, and it was beautifully delicious. Five minutes sooner, or later, and my little miracle would have occurred unnoticed. What a lovely gift. It made my day.

Thought for the Day:   When you start your day anticipating miracles and blessings, the Universe provides.

My Favorite Mnemonic

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In July of 1988, I attended a consciousness-raising seminar in Snowmass, CO, hosted by Dr. Jonathan Parker .  There were just over a hundred attendees in all, from all over the country, and I had arranged beforehand to share a gorgeous three-story condo with all the amenities, including a sort of great room/living room/dining room with a fireplace that faced in both directions.

All three of my condo mates were charming ladies, and since we were there for a common purpose we found plenty to talk about.  I hit it off especially well with Barbara (who lived on Rainbow Avenue in Denver).  She invited me to cancel my flight from Aspen to Denver and drive back with her.  This would give me a chance to see more of Colorado at ground level, and she would then deliver me straight to the airport, where I’d pick up my flight to Dulles.

I accepted eagerly  The route from Snowmass to Denver passed through breathtakingly beautiful scenery.  I took lots of photos, and even got one of a prairie dog sitting up on top of a concrete highway divider.  I can’t imagine how he got up there, but he was comfortably ensconced and watching the cars go by.  I waved to him, but I guess he didn’t see me.

Barbara and I talked most of the way back, sharing our experiences at the seminar (another story entirely) and exchanging life stories.  She regaled me with a tale about a friend who had decided she wanted a memory aid to remind her that God loved her.  For some reason she picked for her symbol a Yellow Volkswagen Beetle (YVB), of all things.  That struck me as sweet and practical at the same time, and I adopted her idea on the spot.

Since VW had discontinued the Beetle about ten years before, yellow ones, or any other for that matter, were kind of thin on the ground.  Then in 1998 the new VW Beetle was introduced, and I was in business again, spiritually speaking.  Yellow is a very popular color, so I get plenty of reminders.  I had to laugh at myself, though, because as much as I like to think of myself as a wordsmith/dictionary freak, I had to look up the word “mnemonic” three or four times before I could fix its meaning in my mind.  Duh!

Recently I was recounting this story to a friend as we were out running errands.  I had noticed and been reminded by a YVB sighting.  The best part was that, as I was finishing the story, she made a left turn and, coming toward us, was a Yellow Volkswagen Beetle!  Coincidence?  We think not.  Bwahahaha!

Thought for the Day:  “In the midst of life…..”   Please pray for the repose of the soul of my friend, LaVerne D. Miller.

From My Heart to Yours

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In the spirit of the Holiday Season, I offer these thoughts.

In the last several days, I have been in touch with family and friends, old and new, to exchange holiday wishes. Our conversations soon turn toward the happiness we’ve been experiencing. Each person mentions, in particular, what a wonderful Christmas this has been, citing a family gathering, a small, unexpected gift, a thoughtful gesture or a graceful compliment from someone whose opinion they respect.

I have been warmly welcomed into an extended family celebration and sit by a beautifully decorated Christmas tree basking in the warmth from the fire, while I eat my fill of delicious food and watch two overexcited toddlers being babysat by a village. Instruments come out and are tuned, voices are raised in song. The feeling of community is intense and warms me from the inside out.  This happiness is heady stuff.  I wish I could stay in this exalted state always and I revel in it while it’s here.

These positive feelings are buoyed up by the fact that the immutable laws of Nature allow the pendulum to remain in a negative position only so long, before gravity has its say. Now each tick of the clock brings us farther down the positive swing of the arc. Suspend disbelief and consider with me for a moment that things can only get better. Since we are what we think, perhaps we could simply think a better world into existence.

There is a YouTube video:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkbpXRSIUnE which shows the positive and negative effects of thought on water crystals, and which opens whole new avenues of thought.

Choose to hang on and enjoy the ride! Take an occasional glance in the rear view mirror, but pay attention to where you are now, while you approach the unknown future. If you’re not in the driver’s seat, call dibs on Navigator and indicate your interest in moving up. Life is for living, for being involved.  There are few things sadder to read than stories of a life full of regrets and backward glances.

Here’s a serious thought.  Pretend that you are elderly, certainly you know your story is winding down.  Have this future you sit down and make a list – I mean really think this through! Make a list of all the things that you always wanted to do and never did.  Then come back to the here and now and start to do them.

As you may know, last January I packed up and sold off my worldly goods, including my car, picked up myself and my two cats, and moved away from my whole world of almost 50 years and started a new life in Oregon.  I am happier and feel freer here than ever before.  I made a list of 20 Wishes a year ago, and after rereading it just now, I find that, with a few tweaks here and there, I’m a solid 9 for 20, I’m working on several others and am tinkering with the rest.  I remain, as always, a work in progress.

Thought for the Day:  My most sincere wishes for peace, health, happiness and love, now, in 2010 and always.

Evening in the City

The rain comes down in a medium but determined manner, the day appears windless and the sky is a medium gray. All the little holes in the window screens are full of water, and they vibrate as the wind I cannot see trembles them in their frames. The traffic swishes by in the watery streets four stories below, the slick sound of the cars’ tires and the occasional deeper note of a bus. Oh, how glad I am to live in a city again, particularly when the city is Portland, toward which my heart has yearned for a decade. Eleven months now and I’m still in love with the skyline and the patterns of the lights and the sounds of traffic.

When the weather permits, I enjoy sitting on the deck, particularly at night, and breathing in that wonderful air. I don’t know, nor do I care, what it is that so delights me about it, but it is a constant source of pleasure.  And how could a day that ends this way be anything but good?

Thought for the Day:  (From “Taps”)  “Day is done, Gone the sun…”