Pacificmelody's Blog

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Charlotte (Snooki) Brontë Ditches Rehab Again


Apparently even famous writers are susceptible to the whims of fame.

Caught between trips to rehab.

Wednesday, February 2, 1840. This just in: Paparazzi, who have been staking out the Elizabeth Fordyce Clinic for Troublesome Young Women in the hope of catching a glimpse of Snooki Brontë, were rewarded by the sight of a cloaked and hooded figure being ushered away from the clinic by her publisher. Since this is in direct violation of the judge’s orders, her freedom can probably be counted in hours. It is expected that Snooki will make the most of her time on the loose. The trip from the front door of the facility to her carriage was marred by several stumbles, but she recovered and was able to make it up the steps with the aid of her maid, who had accompanied her into rehab.

Friends, who had arranged an intervention for Snooki and pleaded with her to seek help, could not be reached for comment. One unidentified source, upon being promised anonymity, said that Snooki had been “A real handful. Always after her visitors to supply her with smuggled smelling salts and begging sips from their flasks. And she could turn really ugly if denied her little ‘treats’.” Efforts to gain further information have been thwarted by clinic personnel, although another inmate was heard to mutter, “Good riddance to the little witch,” or at least that’s what we think he said.

Obviously Snooki had done little to endear herself to her fellow sufferers, who were pretty tired of hearing about “Jane Eyre” this and “Jane Eyre” that. “Resting on her laurels is what she is,” was the opinion of another. “She hasn’t written a word in years and may never again. Just lucky that folks liked it. It was a scandalous book!”

Well, we’re off to the clubs where Snooki can most likely be found, perhaps doing an intimate gavotte with one of her low companions. We’re certain there will be ankles aplenty on view once she starts on the Madeira. Stay tuned for further up-to-the-moment bulletins as Snooki riots through London once more!

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Author: Melody J Haislip

Born in a small, Illinois log cabin . . . No, that won’t work. The pampered only child of incredibly wealthy parents . . . No, that won’t fly either. Raised by French nuns after her aristocratic parents were beheaded . . . No, that’s been done! Got it: An East Coast transplant to the Pacific Northwest, this notoriously late bloomer began her new life with a new career as a writer and blogger. She has taken to both the new location and the career move like a duck to water. Writing is a new adventure, and our intrepid risk-taker is diving in, feeling right at home and making new friends. Reached for comment, she replied, “Okay, I wrote my bio, now may I Please go out and play?” We expect great, or perhaps merely more coherent, things from this writer. (Okay, that’s a wrap. What a wacko!)

9 thoughts on “Charlotte (Snooki) Brontë Ditches Rehab Again

  1. Now … I understand Jane Eyre isn’t the author! How dumb is that? Now I understand your story and ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Snookie doesn’t have anything on me! 😛

    Oh well … you learn something new everyday.


  2. Melody, I have never seen “Snooki” or an episode of “Jersey Shore” so I can’t leave any cogent comment except to say, you may me smile with your wit! And…your blog looks gorgeous! The whole color scheme is eye-appealing.


  3. Well, I’ve only seen her in passing on the news and the internet. I just had the idea and ran with it. I haven’t had so much fun in ages.


  4. Melody, I love the tongue in cheek way this was written. I took me a paragraph to begin to suspect. The picture and the use of Betty Ford & Paparazzi was a give away. Thank you for the chuckle… AND no I do not watch Jersey Shores. Yet, who can not know Snooki Bronte.

    Thank you.. still chuckling..


  5. Looks like “Snooki” got snookered!

    I don’t know “Snooki” or the show you refer to, but that doesn’t stop me from being pleased and entertained by your humor and wit!

    Great job, Melody. Absolutely wonderful fun and creativity!


    • Lynda, I’ve never seen it. I just picked the nickname Snooki for poor Charlotte Bronte, and it went from there. I’ve had some really humorous responses from people who apparently have never heard of Charlotte or Jane Eyre, but most everyone has heard of Snooki.


  6. Reblogged this on Pacificmelody's Blog and commented:

    This is my most popular article, which has always puzzled me I hope Charlotte (Snooki) Brontë will forgive the liberties I have taken with her personal story..


  7. This is so much fun! Times never really change do they. Snooki, hehahh what a name.


    • Pete, I don’t know what started me off on this one, but it was more fun to write than anything before or since. Glad you enjoyed it. Sorry, Charlotte.


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