Charlotte (Snooki) Brontë Scandal Ends in Court

December 16, 2011 by Melody J Haislip 4 Comments

Charlotte (Snooki) Brontë

Wednesday, December 16, 1840. Here are the latest developments in the adventures of Snooki Bronte as she charts her willful course through the salons and ballrooms of polite society, head held high. The ladies put their heads together behind their fans, to whisper of rumors and sightings, while the gentlemen greet her with compliments, toasts and languishing glances.

This Reporter was in court to witness Miss Brontë’s appearance before the normally austere Judge Clarence Anthony Roberts, whose collar wilted as visibly as did his usually stern visage, as Snooki worked her feminine wiles upon him. Clad in a sober dark blue gown which nonetheless managed to cling to her form just a tad too faithfully, the Defendant appeared young, demure and fragile. Her abundant brown hair, caught up in a becoming style with wispy curls escaping, caught, too, the light and the avid eyes of the spectators gathered to watch the drama unfold. The crowd was warned by the Judge that excessive emotion would not be allowed!

Snooki, as she prefers to be addressed by friends, presented a picture of repentance as the numerous charges were read out. She expressed herself to be desirous of making reparation and of leading, in future, a life of sobriety and good works. She accepted Judge Roberts’s sentence to ‘acts of charity on behalf of the indigent’, with grace and a becoming humility, and thanked him prettily for the Court’s forbearance.

As part of the plea bargain arranged by her shrewd and obviously smitten attorney, Snooki will be accompanied on her outings for the next three months by a matron trained by the Bow Street Runners and currently in the employ of the Metropolitan Police. If this stipulation frets the suspiciously quiet Snooki, it does not show. One could almost be forgiven for thinking that some outrageous scheme lurks behind those limpid eyes, that enigmatic smile. I doubt she will leave us in suspense for long, and this Reporter will be the first to bring you word!

Following is a link to this Reporter’s earlier story:

https://pacificmelody.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/charlotte-snooki-bronte-ditches-rehab-again/

Author: Melody J Haislip

Born in a small, Illinois log cabin . . . No, that won’t work. The pampered only child of incredibly wealthy parents . . . No, that won’t fly either. Raised by French nuns after her aristocratic parents were beheaded . . . No, that’s been done! Got it: An East Coast transplant to the Pacific Northwest, this notoriously late bloomer began her new life with a new career as a writer and blogger. She has taken to both the new location and the career move like a duck to water. Writing is a new adventure, and our intrepid risk-taker is diving in, feeling right at home and making new friends. Reached for comment, she replied, “Okay, I wrote my bio, now may I Please go out and play?” We expect great, or perhaps merely more coherent, things from this writer. (Okay, that’s a wrap. What a wacko!)

4 thoughts on “Charlotte (Snooki) Brontë Scandal Ends in Court”

Theresa H Hall
December 16, 2011 at 8:54 pm

she surely is pulling the lamb’s wool over their eyes. I’ve always had a particular liking for the word smitten. It covers a myriad of facial expressions. 😀

LikeLike

- Melody J Haislip
  December 16, 2011 at 10:45 pm
  
  Theresa, I would hope the lovely author of “Jane Eyre” would forgive my taking a few liberties with her, I’m sure, sterling character. It will always be one of my favorites.
  
  LikeLike
  
Pete Armetta
February 12, 2012 at 1:39 am

Just a gorgeous scene you paint here, so visual and melodic and inspired. Love it.

LikeLike

- Melody J Haislip
  February 12, 2012 at 12:01 pm
  
  I’m so glad you liked it. Pete, did you happen to read my original Snooki story? I’ve gotten more hits on that than anything else I’ve written, and it’s one of my personal favorites. In fact, she’s so popular, I may have to write a third story of her exploits. Hope Charlotte would forgive me for the liberties I’ve taken with her most likely sterling character. https://pacificmelody.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/charlotte-snooki-bronte-ditches-rehab-again/
  
  LikeLike