Pacificmelody's Blog

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Fair Warning

romantic-boyfriend-girlfriend-holding-hands-together-images-for-whatsapp-profile-picture-bf-gf-romantic-couple-pics-images-profile-picture-for-whatsapp-9I am a simple soul ~
I take my pleasures
Where I find them ~
And while it’s true
That I may linger ~
Where passion leads me ~
I will not tarry longer
Than a day or so ~

So do not count on me ~
Don’t let me be the one
You build your hopes on ~
I can’t be what you want
Your dream of love to be ~
There is a restlessness
Inside ~ that moves me onward
Toward my destiny ~

Perhaps I simply fool myself ~
Ashamed of my inconstant heart ~
But either way I am a guarantee
Of heartache I would spare you ~

So I will leave you here untouched ~
Or I will love you and move on ~
You know I want you
But the choice is yours ~
And you must take the chance ~

If I can change for you I will ~

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Do I Know You?

(In the days of her youth)Related image

She fascinates me ~
My fellow traveler ~
With lines carved
Deep into her face ~
In shapes reminding me
Of ancient paintings ~
On the walls of caves ~

Her wild white mane ~
Held off her face by
Large dark pins ~
Her face in profile ~
Make me think of
Herds of bison ~ and
Deerskin moccasins ~

She is a big woman ~
Tall and sturdy ~
And her posture
Gives the lie ~
To her weathered skin
And snow-white hair ~

She turns her head
And our eyes meet ~
Across the bus’s
Narrow aisle ~
I see she feels it too ~
That sudden sense
Of recognition ~

Then she smiles and
Pulls the cord ~
And in moments
She is gone ~
I feel bereft ~
As though I missed
My cue ~ and it
Will never come
Again ~

I sit and ponder ~
What does it mean ~
For every act has
Meaning ~
And every act has
Consequences too ~

The delicate balance
Of my life ~
Has been disturbed ~
And I don’t
Know why ~

(Originally published November 11, 2013)


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How Shall I Answer

Image result for pictures of clouds covering a night sky

I watch the clouds knit themselves together ~
Covering over the tattered edges of the sky ~
And filling in the dark blue holes
In the evolving cloudscape of the night ~

The trees fling their red and golden leaves
Into the maelstrom of the wild and windy air ~
Shattering the gorgeous living tapestry of autumn
And baring their limbs to the teeth of winter ~

My Native American ancestors lived by the bounty
Of the living earth beneath their feet ~
And the phases of the moon and the sun and
The seasons ~ guided their moccasined steps ~

Though I live in a city once more ~
Twenty minutes from my door the forest beckons ~
And I feel the tethers loosening as the
Wild things whisper my name deep in the night ~

As the moon rises and the trees toss
Their limbs in restless ecstasy ~ enthralled
By the power and the beauty of the windy dark ~
I feel a response from deep within which will not be denied ~

(Originally published October 18, 2010)


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In Celebration of Max

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All the days and
Weeks and years
Without you ~
How will I survive ~

So much of the time
It was just you and me ~
And I was your world
And you were mine ~

Mommy’s little fur coat
I sometimes called you ~
You were so warm ~
So sleekly soft and beautiful ~

Smart and sweet and loving ~
To hold you against my heart
Was to soothe any ache ~
To hold any fear at bay ~

One of my greatest joys was
To look into your amazing eyes ~
Green and depthless and
Full of an ancient wisdom ~

Anyone who would see God ~
Has only to gaze into the eyes
Of their beloved beast ~ to see
The purity and the innocence

And at the end you trusted me ~
You looked into my eyes
And you licked my arm and
You forgave me ~

I am a better person for
Having loved you ~ and
I will remember you
Always ~

My beloved, gallant little friend, Max Haislip, departed this life on July 10, 2018. And now he has sent me the beautiful Silver, to comfort me and fill in the empty place in my life. I am smitten. Silver is on the fence but I am hopeful.

 


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The Music of the Bells

beautiful-bells

For the full effect, click on this link to hear the musical inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSqYO0wym8M

I stand at the edge of the woods ~
Trying to see into the darkness
Of the forest ~ as the music of the bells
Rings in my ears and my heart ~
Falling invisibly round my face and hair
Like showers of crystal ice and fire ~

I follow the trail of candles that
Suddenly appears between the trees ~
Beckoning me ever deeper ~ calling me
Into the mystery and the magic ~
The beauty of the music still thrills
My spirit to its core ~ and I am moved
And shaken ~ and stirred to depths
I did not know my soul possessed ~

The grace of special moments
Such as these ~ is that they take you
Higher than you have ever been before ~
Unable to fall back to where you were ~
And longing to fly higher ~ steeped
In beauty and in light and love ~


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The More We Know

Great Math Mystery download

Recently my son sent me a PBS video (link below) on the topic of a “Crisis in the Foundation of Mathematics”. This is because he knows of my interest in the subject, despite my rather rudimentary understanding. The spirit is willing . . .

I found the narrator to be lively and intelligent, and I could tell she was dumbing-down her talk considerably. Nevertheless, she lost me about two minutes in (and that’s being generous), but I persevered till the end, and I found her conclusions fascinating.

It amuses, but does not amaze me, that yet another of the ‘concrete’ pillars upon which our science rests, has turned out to be as ephemeral as the others. Our math has no solid foundation, our Cosmos is made up of mostly dark matter and dark energy, whose existence we can prove only by the observance of their effects on that small percentage of ‘normal’ matter we can actually see.

Similarly, we do not understand how electricity works, nor gravity, without which we and all else would cease to exist. We stand on an Earth which appears solid, but which at its fiery heart is as alive as we. Witness its constantly shifting tectonic plates, volcanic eruptions and vast storms. Mere miles stand between us and the pitiless, cold vacuum of space, from which we face daily threat of extinction by meteor. Clocks and calendars measure our hours and days and years, but at any significant distance from our planet, they have no relevance. What is time, for instance, to a Cosmos which measures its existence and its distances in infinities.

Such a lot to think about, on a Wednesday morning.


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Missing Persons

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You listen to me
With an air of faint distraction ~
Sometimes I wonder
If you’ve heard a word I’ve said ~

It’s obvious it’s not my input
Or approval that you’re seeking ~
Your mind’s made up and
That is definitely that ~

I miss the you I used to know ~
As far as that goes ~ I miss me ~
We used to have such fun before
We lost our spontaneity ~

When was the last time we did
Something wild and foolish ~
When did I last surprise you
Or you me ~ and tell me

Does the new you ever think
About the old me any more ~
Where did the sweetness go ~
Where did the time ~

Although we swore we’d never
Let our story come to this ~
It happened in such tiny
Incremental unregarded steps

We didn’t notice ~ or we pretended ~
But now it’s in the open ~
Our cards are face up on the table ~
I wait only for your answer ~

I am all in on the side of love ~