Pacificmelody's Blog

I've got the computer keys to the kingdom!


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Air Water Fire Earth

Earth Air Fire Water

I look up into the
Deep blue vault
Of the heavens
And think of the thin skin
Of the atmosphere
The only thing that
Keeps us from the
Dark cold depths of
Space and instant
Annihilation

I stand at the edge
Of the ancient cliff
Looking down at the
Restless ocean
As it crashes and
Breaks against the
Shore
Another attempt
In its timeless battle
To take back the land

And later still I sit
Gazing into the fire
Basking in its warmth
Thinking of long ago
Days when I was
A child and Summer
Was forever
And love was ever
A shimmering promise
On the edge of my
Horizon

I remember the fields
With the sun on them
The ripening grain
The forever rows of corn
Tasseled and shining
Green as the leaves
On the trees
That surrounded
And sheltered our
Home

Thus I recite my litany
Air Water Fire Earth
And I feel the pull of you
As I feel the effects of
The gravity I cannot see

To me you are the most
Elemental of all
Without whom nothing
Matters
You are the love of
All my lives

I see the remembrance
Within your eyes as well
And peace and love
Enfold us
We have found each other
At last


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Royal Dilemma

a-beautiful_woman-1421386

The silence hums so
Loudly in my ears
I cannot hear the sound
Of my own heart
The heart that I rely on
To guide me through

The very air seems
Preternaturally still
Though I feel it moving
Through my body
I see the rising and
Falling of my chest

What kind of alchemy
Do you possess
Are you a demon or a
Sorcerer that everyone
Falls prey so swiftly
To your charms

Am I to be the one exception
To the rule
The only citadel to which
You have laid siege
That has not fallen
To your passionate assault

But this is not a game
The stakes I’m playing for
Are higher than they’ve ever been
My heart and the fate of
The kingdom and my people
Hang in the balance

So when I make my choice
I must be guided
By more than love
I must be mindful
Of my duty to my
People and my throne

What shall I do . . .


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The Time of Dreaming

allweneedislove-0b3a1a5c0432f6db9d75e3175d6fa6da_h

My sheets are tangled
And my thoughts race
Was I only dreaming
Or was I truly
Remembering

There was a man’s face
Almost your face
But the eyes were wrong
He did not look at me
With love

There was a hunger
But there was fear as well
Though what he had
To fear from me
I’ll never know

Was this a memory
From another lifetime
Or a hint of a lifetime
Yet to come
It is a mystery

But not all mysteries
Require solution
And you are here and warm
And the dreaming
Is soon forgotten


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Elegy For My Soul

dream_by_taenaron-d34q599 I Will Find You

Don’t you hear the music
I can hear it playing
Running through my mind
A million miles an hour

The air is full of flowers
The kind that bloom at night
In warm and sultry climates
In lush profusion

And then of course
The memories come calling
It is my curse
That I cannot forget

It is my blessing
That once I truly had you
As I will always have you
Here inside my heart

And though we’d parted ways
And though the years
Were spent apart with
Contact at a minimum

Still news of your death
Struck me like a sword blow
I’ve never felt such pain
I did not even comprehend

That pain on such a level
Was anything but myth
I had grieved before
But not like this

Not like this

For still you are in
My blood my bone
My heart my very soul
And I am yours
Until the day I die

Until the day I die


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Beauty and Madness

Fairy

I’ve opened my heart and the words are flowing flowing in time to the desperate beauty of the music and the night and the utter inevitability of it all meeting you here loving you losing you how could I tell it was our one and only chance out of all time to find each other but I won’t accept it can’t believe it it must be a nightmare from which I’ll awaken and soon oh god I can’t bear the loss the pain the terror of never holding you again of never feeling that soul-deep connection only you and I achieved out of a night more wondrous than all the other nights before in a world with everything to offer and nothing to be gained without you my thoughts are in a constant whirl and the earth moves in small tremors underneath my feet I’ve heard of losing your mind and I wonder if this is how it feels and then I pull myself together and look for a plan any plan any motion anything but nothing at all I can’t slow down long enough for the pain to catch me must outrun it stay ahead of the fear and the panic hold onto my wits for someday I’ll need them again have to find you can’t stop running can’t stop thinking where would I go if I were the most wonderful person in the world on the run from me and again my mind whirs and the numbers fly by and no conclusion is reached I check my phone again no missed calls no messages no hope no time to think no hope keep my spirits up keep on thinking don’t stop moving go to every place we’ve ever been call all your friends and mine put in a missing persons report no it’s too soon or too late I can no longer tell can you hear me can you feel me can you feel my pain and regret and the heavy heart that carries the burden of my stupidity and loss and pain I will find you again I will there is that your face your hair your car your walk no just another stranger gaping at my mad behavior and on and on I go and every face I search belongs to someone not you and still I will search and I will find you hear me call you hear my call hear my cries feel my love which is stronger than my silly brain forgive me and forget my sins and take me back and it will be as once it was between us as pure and innocent and perfect as the dawn and we will be together forever Oh come back come back take me back don’t you know how much I love you there are are there you are is it a mirage or are you really there I’m melting no I’m fainting no I’m saved by you.

(Originally published August 7, 2011.)


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To Sandi

sisters

Your face lights up
And your arms
Reach out for me
I see the love
You make no effort
To conceal
And I thank God
For my best friend
And all the ties
That bind us

You are a blessing
In my life
A part of my heart
That beats in a
Different place
That still is
All my own
Just as a part
Of your heart
Beats in mine

I recognized you
The day we met
I would have
Known you
Anywhere
My sister
My dearest
Forever
Friend


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The Greatest Force

df63db6e5025405f8e911afc38191e31.jpg How I See LoveLove can make us
Finer than we are
True love
Can make us
Finer still

“Love is patient
Love is kind”
They tell us
But they do not
Tell us
That true love
Can burn away
The blinders from
The lover’s eyes

Hearts and souls
Filled up with love
Crowd out all
Baser feelings
As the Light
Destroys the
Darkness
In its loving
Way

The only force
In all the Universe
Against which
There is no
Defense
Is love