So Now Murphy Wants His Own Email Account

For some time now I have noticed, but misinterpreted, my friend Murphy’s [pic below] behavior at the computer keyboard.  I thought, when he would collapse and roll over it, he was simply trying to get my attention; couldn’t wait another moment for affection.  How wrong could a poor human be?

Yesterday I sat down to write an email to a friend.  I had typed the first word of what was to be a humorous heading when, entering stage left, here came Murphy, with his drop-and-roll maneuver.  Only this time, somehow he actually hit the send button, delivering his one-word message, “Help!”, to my unwitting friend.  I immediately followed up with an email headed, “My cat hit the send button – Sorry!”

My friend, a serious animal lover, responded as might have been expected.  “What did you do to the poor cat?  Do you need a ride to the vet?”  I explained what happened, and I think she believed me.  Just a slip of the paw, everything’s fine.  Move along, nothing to see here.  I’ll bet she “drops in” to see me tonight.  Murphy would just lap up all the attention, probably manage to limp a little, maybe drag one paw and look wistfully at the shelf where the treats live.

All this talk of Murphy reminds me I haven’t seen Max and I wonder what he’s up to.  I glance around and there he sits, about two feet away, looking as fixed in place as the Sphinx, his gaze boring inscrutably into mine, and I know he wasn’t there a minute ago.

So I called a family meeting, and we reached an agreement.  As long as I behave myself, there won’t be any more electronic cries for help.  So much for the theory that the opposable thumb types have the advantage!

Just Keepin’ It Real!

Sometimes as the April 1st requalification date rolls around for the “Foot in Mouth“ Club, I become a little anxious, lest this be the year I don’t make the grade.  Fortunately, this year I know I’m safe, and I’ll tell you how that came about.

It happened, prosaically enough, at my local Safeway.  I was standing in line for the pharmacy, there to pick up a prescription.  There was a sign on a stand that asked us to keep the aisle clear and give privacy to people as they spoke to the pharmacist, so we were standing at the head of the aisle across from the counter.  As I usually do in these situations, I began looking around, reading labels, people watching, glancing at my watch, all those little things people who don’t text or tweet do to pass the time.

In one of my visual sweeps, I noticed two men – little people as they prefer to be known.  They had a list and they were consulting it.  Just then a woman at the pharmacy counter looked over and waved and called out, “Bob!”.  One of the two men turned around and waved back and called out her name.  He then excused himself to his friend, saying he worked with the woman and was just going to say a quick hello.  He turned and walked over to speak to her, and just then my eye caught the eye of the friend, and I smiled and said, “Small world.”  Thank goodness he took the remark at face value, and thank goodness they called me up to the counter just then.  I could feel my face getting red.  Of all the things I could have said.  Oh, well, as I said, my membership in “Foot in Mouth” is safe for another year.