Pacificmelody's Blog

I've got the computer keys to the kingdom!

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A Change of Scenery


The sky is brilliant blue today
The air is crystalline
The edges of the shadows
Sharply defining the line
Between dark and light

For now I will not think of
Anything that is not kind
Or pleasant or loving
My emotions have already
Been stretched too thin

I’m sitting on a bench
In the sun now ~ watching
The walkers and their dogs
Alternately drag each other by
Looking for that perfect spot

I feel that I have been too
Long inside ~ that I will learn
To love my solitude too dearly
The well is empty when I search
For words so I have fled

Hoping a change of scenery
Would lift my spirits and
Bring me inspiration or hope
Or maybe just the sight of
Some other feathered thing

On a day such as this
I can only feel happy and
Heartfully blessed and as if
I am exactly where I have
Always been meant to be



Image result for pictures of sea crashing sand castle

In the cosmic scheme of things
My existence and its ending
Are like a tiny castle on the shore
Which vanishes with a single wave

So many of the people that
I have known and loved have
Taken that next step ~ have
Found the answers we all seek

Perhaps it’s just the time of year
That makes me think of endings
The way the chill late winter wind
Blows through my every frail defense

And you are in my thoughts tonight
The painfully erected barricades
Dissolve in my one careful drink
When I already ache to think of you

Just one more Christmas Day
Another anniversary ~ or a
Quiet walk on an April afternoon
Is that so much to ask

To hold your hand and lose
Myself in your depthless eyes
To know that I am not alone
I would give all I have and more


A Day in the Life

Image result for tattered american flag

I brace myself as I turn on
My television ~ trying to
Prepare for the onslaught
Of negativity and ill will I know
Awaits me ~ determined to be
Well-informed no matter what

I also watched a NOVA special
Addressing the sleeplessness
Tormenting so many in these
Most ‘interesting’ of times
And it raised a question I’ve
Been wrestling with for years

Am I afflicted with PTSD ~ as
Has long been my contention
Beginning with my horrified
Fascination with the intense
Coverage of 9/11 and the loss
Of our country’s innocence

Has sleep indeed been ‘murdered’
As Shakespeare wrote of
In the Scottish play ~ are we
All victims and is there a way
To healing when we are every
Day subjected to more madness

My prayers each night for the
Rebirth of sanity and common
Decency have so far gone
Unanswered ~ but I am counting
On the fact that the soul
Of America is alive and well


We Are Better

digital tesseract

Sometimes I feel as though
I’m living on the inside
Of a tesseract ~ watching
The chaotic landscape
Of my life whirl by
In a kaleidoscopic frenzy

Where is the peace which
I had hoped for in my
“Golden years” ~ the feeling
That the Earth beneath
My feet is stable and assured
My dream of a better tomorrow

I look around me and I see the
Selfsame fears on others’ faces
As we listen to the voices of
The experts we still trust
Their dire warnings tinged with
Hints of even worse to come

Though I do not like the grim look
On the face of Rachel Maddow
My personal barometer of
How bad things really are
I have to believe that there is
Still hope for our survival

One cannot be a Pollyanna
And yet is it not worse to live
In fear and cede control
Of our emotions ~ along with
The reins of government and
All the rules of common sense

We are so much more than
The sum of our political parts


(Simply put, a tesseract is a cube, in 4-dimensional space. You could also say that it’s the 4D analogue of a cube. It is a 4D shape, where every face is a cube. . . .


I Want My Own Dimension Back!

dark-forest-queen-night-31000.jpg The forest at night

Do I run because I am afraid …

I’ve changed identities
Five times at least and
I’ve run so fast and far
I’m right back where
It all began ~ where
First I realized my place
In this strange game
That we are playing

Tell me ~ am I the only one
Who sees the movement
Within the movement ~ the
Shadows beneath the light
The darkness before the

And I am a hopeful soul
By nature ~ disposed to
See the best in others
Extending the benefit of
Reasonable doubt beyond
All normal boundaries

But neither am I one to
Suffer evil men with ill
Intentions in a kindly
Blindly way ~ forgiving
Unforgivable transgressions

And all the while
The spotlight shines upon
The greasy pancake
Over the artificial tan line
And the uneasy arrangement
Of the hair

Do you think that I will
Awaken soon in my own world



Scorched Earth

Image result for pictures of couples receiving tragic news

I call your name
For the third time ~
You turn your head ~
Your face as white
As the pages that
Tremble in your hands ~
And I know we have lost ~

Deep in my heart I knew
She’d never let you go ~
You were her trophy ~
Her prize possession ~
And she is as greedy
As she is beautiful ~
We never stood a chance ~

It sounds so reasonable ~
So civilized in black and white ~
The party of the first part ~
Will flay alive the party of the
Second part ~ while the party
Of the third part ~ stands
Helplessly by and weeps ~

There is no mercy to be had ~
No reprieve ~ only utter
Capitulation to her demands ~
Your return to the fold
And a loveless future ~ or
She promises your little
Ones will pay the price ~

When they talk of hostages
To fortune ~ they speak
More truly than they know ~
Your eyes tell me what I
Already know ~ and I cannot
Blame you ~ what loving
Parent could do otherwise ~

But it is hard ~


I’ll Always Wonder

Image result for pictures of woman waking alone

A whisper of light ~
Is softening the edges ~
Of another long and
Lonely sleepless night ~

Another sunrise ~ and
Another day that
I will face alone ~ just
As you predicted ~

I’m still not sure
Exactly why you left me ~
There was no quarrel
You just slipped away ~

Between one heartbeat and
Another you were gone ~
And I am left to wonder
What I could have done ~

So here I am ~ sadder
But no wiser ~ and what
Does not kill me simply
Breaks my aching heart ~


The Sacrifice

Image result for pix of beautiful fantasy woman weeping

Was it my breast ~
Which barely grazed your arm ~
Or was it you ~ who
Initiated the subtle contact ~
The small caress ~

I guess it doesn’t matter ~
But I do know it was that
Unexpected touch ~ which
Ignited the conflagration
That flared between us ~
Destroying the careful
Balance we had maintained ~
Until that fateful moment ~

For you are no more
Free to love than I ~
And there are hearts aplenty
To be broken ~ should we not
Turn our backs and deny
This ill judged passion ~

So far no lines have been crossed ~
No words said we cannot take back ~
But if we would both keep
The promises we have made ~
The vows unbroken and
Our honor still intact ~

This moment we have not
Acknowledged ~ must be
The only one we are allowed ~

Our eyes meet for the first
And last time ~ in this reality
We will never have or even speak of ~
But we will remember ~


Lenten Rose

Related image

Sheltering among the shy
Hellebore blooms ~
In a time that was not yet spring ~
And yet not winter either ~
I knelt and looked into the
Faces of the flowers ~

They were turning their
Beauty away from the sun ~
As I had not seen others
Of their kind do ~
And I was thereupon intrigued ~

I found that Hellebores are
Also called the Lenten Rose ~
One of the earliest promises
That spring will come again ~
Made in a language each one
Of us can understand ~



Image result for handsome fantasy man

I have a great and
Terrible power
Deep inside me ~
To change the shape
Of things to come ~

I keep it hidden ~
Under iron control ~
For with this gift ~
There comes as well
A great responsibility ~

I cannot remember
When I did not know ~
The path my destiny
Would have me tread ~
I was spared nothing ~

I knew I would find you ~
Love you ~ lose you ~
Across every lifetime
I have ever known ~
And that the choice
Was always mine ~
The burden one that
I could not put down ~

You ask if it is for
Duty ~ or for honor ~
That I hold true ~
I tell you it is neither ~
It is the echoes of ecstasy ~
Experienced in
Each of my existences ~
When I have been with you ~