Beauty and Madness

Fairy

I’ve opened my heart and the words are flowing flowing in time to the desperate beauty of the music and the night and the utter inevitability of it all meeting you here loving you losing you how could I tell it was our one and only chance out of all time to find each other but I won’t accept it can’t believe it it must be a nightmare from which I’ll awaken and soon oh god I can’t bear the loss the pain the terror of never holding you again of never feeling that soul-deep connection only you and I achieved out of a night more wondrous than all the other nights before in a world with everything to offer and nothing to be gained without you my thoughts are in a constant whirl and the earth moves in small tremors underneath my feet I’ve heard of losing your mind and I wonder if this is how it feels and then I pull myself together and look for a plan any plan any motion anything but nothing at all I can’t slow down long enough for the pain to catch me must outrun it stay ahead of the fear and the panic hold onto my wits for someday I’ll need them again have to find you can’t stop running can’t stop thinking where would I go if I were the most wonderful person in the world on the run from me and again my mind whirs and the numbers fly by and no conclusion is reached I check my phone again no missed calls no messages no hope no time to think no hope keep my spirits up keep on thinking don’t stop moving go to every place we’ve ever been call all your friends and mine put in a missing persons report no it’s too soon or too late I can no longer tell can you hear me can you feel me can you feel my pain and regret and the heavy heart that carries the burden of my stupidity and loss and pain I will find you again I will there is that your face your hair your car your walk no just another stranger gaping at my mad behavior and on and on I go and every face I search belongs to someone not you and still I will search and I will find you hear me call you hear my call hear my cries feel my love which is stronger than my silly brain forgive me and forget my sins and take me back and it will be as once it was between us as pure and innocent and perfect as the dawn and we will be together forever Oh come back come back take me back don’t you know how much I love you there are are there you are is it a mirage or are you really there I’m melting no I’m fainting no I’m saved by you.

(Originally published August 7, 2011.)

Dream of Tree

11bad7675febd6b027627f43965ce2f9 Woman to Tree

When I am close to dying ~

I will go and stand

In the forest ~

I will put down roots

As I watch the mossy green ~

Begin to trace its way

From toe tips to ankles

And higher ~

Though I still do not know

Which way is North ~

As my skin begins

To harden ‘neath

The sun and rain and

Stormy winds ~

My arms and fingers

Long have gone for

Limbs and twigs ~

In Spring they will sprout

With blossoms ~

Then with tender leaves ~

They will bear within their

Sheltering branches ~ nests

Full of beauty and of song ~

Just so might I stand

For centuries ~

Or perish from a single

Stroke of lightening

In a single night ~

But either way

I will have lived my dream ~

In The Midst Of Life

6a01156f4fdb93970c0120a51efcb5970c ambulance

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The siren startles me

From my aimless thoughts ~

I watch the ambulance

Jockey for position

At the crowded intersection ~

And I think of the

Anxious hearts awaiting

Its arrival ~ straining

To hear the first notes

Of its wailing cry ~

Counting down the

Life of a loved one

In agonizing seconds ~

Storming heaven with

A mix of threats and

Pitiful entreaty ~

Making deals they would

Have scorned just

Moments prior ~

So much resting on

The swift arrival of this

Vehicle of mercy ~

Will it be in time … ?

To Sandi

sisters

Your face lights up
And your arms
Reach out for me
I see the love
You make no effort
To conceal
And I thank God
For my best friend
And all the ties
That bind us

You are a blessing
In my life
A part of my heart
That beats in a
Different place
That still is
All my own
Just as a part
Of your heart
Beats in mine

I recognized you
The day we met
I would have
Known you
Anywhere
My sister
My dearest
Forever
Friend

Phoenix Rising

phoeni11

You left without a word ~
Between one moment
And the next ~
It sounds so trite ~
But it was tragedy
Enough for me ~

It’s strange that you ~
Always so clever
With your words ~
Should be struck dumb
And cowardly by
What you’d done ~

I’m sure that ~
Given time enough ~
You’d try and make
Me see
That it was all for
My own good ~

And all along ~
I knew that it would
End like this ~
That I’d be left alone ~
To weep
Among the ashes ~

Yet from those ashes ~
Like the Phoenix ~
I shall come alive again~
My suffering will end and
I shall rise triumphant ~

I will survive the fire
Can you say the same . . .

The Greatest Force

df63db6e5025405f8e911afc38191e31.jpg How I See LoveLove can make us
Finer than we are
True love
Can make us
Finer still

“Love is patient
Love is kind”
They tell us
But they do not
Tell us
That true love
Can burn away
The blinders from
The lover’s eyes

Hearts and souls
Filled up with love
Crowd out all
Baser feelings
As the Light
Destroys the
Darkness
In its loving
Way

The only force
In all the Universe
Against which
There is no
Defense
Is love

Winter Thoughts

Thomas-Kinkade-Winter-winter-23436572-1280-1024A chill winter sunset blazes
Just above the far horizon
All of the rest of the sky is
A hazy mix of rose and gold

The little house across the street
Ringed in by the trees and backlit
By the dying of the sun’s light
Looks like a Thomas Kinkade print

And just across the hearth I see
Your eyes through the fading daylight
Looking back at me with all the
Love and desire I’ll ever need

I cannot claim to understand
Why I have been so richly blessed
But I vow I will be worthy
Of the gift that I’ve been given