Charlotte (Snooki) Brontë Scandal Ends in Court

Charlotte (Snooki) Brontë

Wednesday, December 16, 1840. Here are the latest developments in the adventures of Snooki Bronte as she charts her willful course through the salons and ballrooms of polite society, head held high. The ladies put their heads together behind their fans, to whisper of rumors and sightings, while the gentlemen greet her with compliments, toasts and languishing glances.

This Reporter was in court to witness Miss Brontë’s appearance before the normally austere Judge Clarence Anthony Roberts, whose collar wilted as visibly as did his usually stern visage, as Snooki worked her feminine wiles upon him. Clad in a sober dark blue gown which nonetheless managed to cling to her form just a tad too faithfully, the Defendant appeared young, demure and fragile. Her abundant brown hair, caught up in a becoming style with wispy curls escaping, caught, too, the light and the avid eyes of the spectators gathered to watch the drama unfold. The crowd was warned by the Judge that excessive emotion would not be allowed!

Snooki, as she prefers to be addressed by friends, presented a picture of repentance as the numerous charges were read out. She expressed herself to be desirous of making reparation and of leading, in future, a life of sobriety and good works. She accepted Judge Roberts’s sentence to ‘acts of charity on behalf of the indigent’, with grace and a becoming humility, and thanked him prettily for the Court’s forbearance.

As part of the plea bargain arranged by her shrewd and obviously smitten attorney, Snooki will be accompanied on her outings for the next three months by a matron trained by the Bow Street Runners and currently in the employ of the Metropolitan Police. If this stipulation frets the suspiciously quiet Snooki, it does not show. One could almost be forgiven for thinking that some outrageous scheme lurks behind those limpid eyes, that enigmatic smile. I doubt she will leave us in suspense for long, and this Reporter will be the first to bring you word!

Following is a link to this Reporter’s earlier story: 

Charlotte (Snooki) Brontë Ditches Rehab Again

This I Remember

North Carolina Waterfall

There’s more and more of my early years that slips away from me as years go by. I don’t remember much from my childhood and envy those who can spout off chapter and verse.

But I do remember, for a short, enchanted period of time, living beside a waterfall. And the muted thunder of sound filled my days and nights like music, weaving itself into the fabric of my dreams, as subtle and necessary as a heartbeat.

I remember climbing up a steep slope, carpeted with pine needles. It was so slippery I had to hang onto the trunks of trees to haul myself up. Laughing till I could hardly stand, breathing in the cool, delicious fragrance of the pines. The waterfall would throw off spray with a chuckling sound, as if it were laughing at my silly antics. I don’t remember the faces of my parents, although I know they were there. Strangely enough my memories of this place are all sensory.

Perhaps that’s why my recent move to the Pacific Northwest seemed almost to have been preordained, or perhaps it was the awakening of the memories of trees and water and crystalline air which drew me so strongly to my new home. Whatever the reason, I am glad to have these memories to call my own and to share. I  wish I could have shared a picture as well, but the only one I could find was too small, so I have chosen a lovely substitute. If you’re ever in the area of Bright Water Falls, Near Henderson, you might come across it, and if you do, think of me.