Unfair

You see me and you smile
And just for one brief moment
It feels the same ~ until
I see the faint touch of
Confusion begin to form
Behind your lovely eyes

It’s clear you know me though
You can’t remember how and
I trap the tears inside my heart
But as I stand here hugging
You hello I realize I’m also
Kissing you goodbye

And I am angry on your behalf
And I am frightened too
And I am lost without you
We’ve been close friends for
All these years ~ so many
Secrets ~ so much love and trust

Your body has betrayed you
Blocking the signals from
Reaching your brain and making
You search for the words
You want to say ~ you who were
Always so quick with your tongue

And I am helpless before the
Enemy attacking you from within
But this is only the beginning
I have just begun to fight and
I have powerful allies waiting
To join me in this battle

Spoiler Alert! Raw Grief Ahead

They are burning his
Beautiful body today ~

The fact that he is gone
And no longer using it ~
And that it was his wish ~
Does nothing to blur
The pain of knowing ~ that
I will never touch him again ~

Never hear that familiar
Laugh ~ or see him flash
That irresistible grin ~
All that bright beauty ~
Reduced to bits of
Bone and ash ~

His voice is quieted ~
His generous heart
And hands are stilled ~
A part of me rejoices
At his transition ~ his
Graduation to the big time ~

But part of me cannot
Believe he’s gone ~
I am bereft that I must live
In a world without him ~

And while I fight my way
Through to acceptance ~
I pray for strength
To carry on ~

(In loving memory of a truly remarkable and unforgettable friend, gone too soon)