Unfair

You see me and you smile
And just for one brief moment
It feels the same ~ until
I see the faint touch of
Confusion begin to form
Behind your lovely eyes

It’s clear you know me though
You can’t remember how and
I trap the tears inside my heart
But as I stand here hugging
You hello I realize I’m also
Kissing you goodbye

And I am angry on your behalf
And I am frightened too
And I am lost without you
We’ve been close friends for
All these years ~ so many
Secrets ~ so much love and trust

Your body has betrayed you
Blocking the signals from
Reaching your brain and making
You search for the words
You want to say ~ you who were
Always so quick with your tongue

And I am helpless before the
Enemy attacking you from within
But this is only the beginning
I have just begun to fight and
I have powerful allies waiting
To join me in this battle

The Broken Place

Once trust has been destroyed ~
Can it be ~ as Ernest Hemingway
Has famously said ~ “strong
At the broken place” ~ or will
It remain shattered ~ and too
Fragile to believe in any more ~

We were happy ~ or so I
Thought ~ the perfect couple ~
One for the ages and the
Envy of our friends ~ until
I was blindsided by your
Sudden announcement that ~

You needed space ~ and time ~
To be yourself ~ to be by
Yourself ~ and that you were
Leaving me and our child to
Flounder ~ in an unaccustomed
And unwanted abandonment ~

You had your plans all made ~
A new apartment to be paid for ~
With money you had hidden
From me and lied to me about ~
Which makes me wonder if
I ever even knew you at all ~

And what can I tell our newly
Teenaged daughter ~ who needs
Her father as she never has
Before ~ how can I convince
Her you still love her ~ and that
Not all men will act this way ~

I am bewildered and lost ~ and
So far beyond feeling hurt
I would need a new word to
Describe it ~ but for our daughter ~
An innocent victim ~ I must be the
Strong place that was broken ~

Everyone Has a Story

I’m riding the train ~
Listening unwillingly ~
To overheard slices of
Other people’s lives ~

Hearing a painful
Private conversation ~
Played out in the
Only time he can make
His collect phone call ~

I learn against my will ~
That ‘cause of him she’s
Out six thousand bucks ~
And her ten-year-old
Dog is dying ~

Her weeping breaks
My heart ~ and she
Will never know ~

My stop is next and
As I rise to leave ~
I touch her shoulder ~
Lean down to whisper ~
I will pray for your dog ~

She looks into my eyes
With her suffering own ~
And for that moment
She is my sister ~

The Belle of the Ball

Annabelle was the gayest
I’ve ever seen her ~
Gliding across the floor
In the arms of
Her latest suitor ~
Gazing into his eyes ~
Giving every
Appearance of having
A wonderful time ~

And even though
It was the wedding
Reception for her
Best friend ~ who had just
Wed her former fiancé ~
You would never
Have known it ~

Even when the happy
Couple drove away on
Their honeymoon journey ~
She continued to dance
And laugh ~ until the
Last guests began to leave ~

Which is why we
Were all so surprised ~
When she went home
And drank a glass
Of poisoned wine ~

The note she left said only ~
Forgive me ~

Forever After

The piano ~ on which we used to
Play our famous duets ~ sits in
The window of the antique shop ~
Gathering dust as it waits ~
Hopefully ~ for someone to
Love it and to play it once again ~

I didn’t mean to leave you ~
That was never in my plans ~
But life ~ and death ~ have
A way of happening without
Permission ~ and one day
I was simply gone ~ no chance
To kiss or say a last farewell ~

And you will not remember that
I said these words ~ or that I had
Come by to see that all was well ~
To you it will be just a dream ~
And probably it’s best that way ~

My love I want you to find new love ~
I would not have you walk alone ~
When there is someone out there
Who would make you happy once again ~

There is no jealousy where I
Have gone ~ how can there be
When Love has truly conquered ~
And we can count the passing
Years in billions ~ or not even
Notice them at all ~

Emptiness

One set of footsteps

In a house that used to hold

Two of everything

Impermanence

In the cosmic scheme of things
My existence and its ending
Are like a tiny castle on the shore
Which vanishes with a single wave

So many of the people that
I have known and loved have
Taken that next step ~ have
Found the answers we all seek

Perhaps it’s just the time of year
That makes me think of endings
The way the chill late winter wind
Blows through my every frail defense

And you are in my thoughts tonight
The painfully erected barricades
Dissolve in my one careful drink
When I already ache to think of you

Just one more Christmas Day
Another anniversary ~ or a
Quiet walk on an April afternoon
Is that so much to ask

To hold your hand and lose
Myself in your depthless eyes
To know that I am not alone
I would give all I have and more

Elegy For My Soul

Don’t you hear the music
I can hear it playing
Running through my mind
A million miles an hour

The air is full of flowers
The kind that bloom at night
In warm and sultry climates
In lush profusion

And then of course
The memories come calling
It is my curse
That I cannot forget

It is my blessing
That once I truly had you
As I will always have you
Here inside my heart

And though we’d parted ways
And though the years
Were spent apart with
Contact at a minimum

Still news of your death
Struck me like a sword blow
I’ve never felt such pain
I did not even comprehend

That pain on such a level
Was anything but myth
I had grieved before
But not like this

Not like this

For still you are in
My blood my bone
My heart my very soul
And I am yours
Until the day I die

Until the day I die